Last month I talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly of having 2 under 2. While I hope my post was reassuring for those current and future moms of two under two, what I know you really need is some practical advice for how to survive during those really hard moments.
So without further ado, here are some things that would have made my life a lot easier if I had known them sooner.
1. Let go of all expectations and accept that the first four months will be pure survival.
Do everything possible to make your life easier, and don’t feel guilty for it. Even if your older child has an excessive amount of screen time and eats chicken nuggets for two days straight, they will survive. Trust me. This is the time when you will probably feel like you’re failing, but just making it through the day is a huge accomplishment.
2. Get out of the house.
A change of scenery is the best solution for when your kids are getting cabin fever. Remember to always leave extra time to get your kids ready and to get to your destination. I set the clock in my house 20 minutes ahead because I am insane and work best while under immense pressure and stress. (Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.) Taking both kids out in public feels daunting at first, but it makes time go by so much faster. Plus, if you make it out the door after getting both kids dressed, nothing will faze you . . . not even the inevitable public tantrums.
3. All babies are different.
And by that I mean you will either be blessed with a great sleeper or a nocturnal owl. If you gave birth to the latter, maintaining a regular daytime and nighttime sleep schedule will be your savior. Having a regular nap schedule for my daughter allowed me to have a designated time during the day when I spent quality one-on-one time with my son. Being able to spend time alone with my son helped ease a lot of the guilt I felt.
4. Synchronize nap schedules.
Finding the time to practice self-care is challenging, but it is also important. Having my kids nap at the same time was the single best thing I did for my sanity. I lost myself when I became a mom. The only way I was able to slowly find myself again was to take time to do some of the things I enjoyed before I became a mom like working out and reading.
4. Messes are inevitable.
I get it. Messes can trigger stress and anxiety. But don’t waste your time and energy cleaning up every mess your children make. It will return in seconds. Trust me. You’re going to need that time and energy for other things. A good solution is to tidy up at the end of the day so you wake up in a clean space.
5. Asking for help does not make you a bad mom.
Ask for help when you need it, and accept help when it is offered. Don’t make the same mistake I did and reach burnout to realize you can’t do it all. Maybe this means dropping your kids off at a family member’s house for a few hours, hiring a professional babysitter or housekeeper, or simply asking your husband to take the kids to the park while you take a nap.
You can do this, mom of two under two!
Originally published January 2022.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of El Paso Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
