The 5 Love Languages: Understanding Your Partner

Learning your partner’s love language can be so beneficial! By doing so, you can learn more about them on a deeper level while avoiding miscommunication. You can even discover their turn-ons vs turn-offs just by knowing their love language!

So don’t be afraid to simply ask your partner….“What is your love language?”

There are Five Types of Love Languages:

1. Quality time
2. Words of affirmation
3. Physical Touch
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Acts of Service

Quality Time

People whose love language is quality time feel the most loved when they spend time together with their partner.

”Let’s make dinner together and watch our favorite show!”

If your partner’s love language is quality time, spend time with them one on one. It doesn’t have to be a lavish dinner and movie to be considered quality time. It can be as simple as ordering take-out and having a conversation at the dinner table without interruptions.

Turn-ons:

• Being present in the moment with them.
• Connecting with them through special moments with just the two of you.
• Making plans together.
• Making time to see them.
• Including them in your plans.
• Being excited to spend time together.

Turn-offs: 

• Always being on the phone when you’re together.
• Constantly canceling or postponing plans.
• Being quick to prioritize friends or things over them.
• Forgetting/not putting any effort into special occasions with them.
• Not being interested in new activities together.

Words of Affirmation

Someone whose love language is words of affirmation feel that the physical stuff is just not enough at times.

“Good morning handsome! I’m so proud of you!”

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, they feel the most loved when they hear sweet or uplifting words from you.

Turn-Ons:

• A partner that’s able to express their feelings.
• Reassuring them without getting mad at them.
• Being able to open up and talk to them.
• Hearing more then just “I Love You” by actually explaining why they are loved.
• Speaking kindly to them/encouraging them.
• Routine good morning/goodnight messages.

Turn-Offs: 

• When their partner shuts down.
• Short responses.
• Speaking to them out of anger because your criticism/words greatly affect them.
• Brushing them off when they confide in you.

Physical Touch

When someone’s love language is physical touch, it means that your physical touch makes them feel the most loved. This includes your body language and the way you react when they hold you or feel you.

Turn-ons:

• Being held when feeling sick or down.
• Staying in and cuddling with them.
• Initiating intimacy.
• Making a habit of greeting them with a hug or a kiss.
• Holding hands/ public displays of affection.
• Placing your arm around them/ receiving massages.

Turn-Offs:

• Brushing their hand away when they reach for you.
• Rejecting their touch.
• Closed off body language.
• Being the only one that initiates intimacy.

Receiving Gifts 

Receiving gifts is one of the most misunderstood type of love language. It’s not just about receiving gifts from their partners. The emotion and intention behind the gift are what counts!

When you gift your partner a meaningful/ thoughtful gift, it lets them know that you are paying attention to them and truly getting to know them. If this is your partner’s love language, don’t forget that the emotion and intention behind the gift are what make them feel the most loved by you.

Turn-Ons:

• Getting them their favorite flower.
• Handwritten notes.
• Thoughtful gifts.
• Inexpensive but meaningful gifts.

Turn-Offs:

• Non-meaningful gifts.
• Giving them something they told you they don’t like.

Acts of Service

Actions speak louder than words! This love language can sometimes be blown out of proportion. If acts of service is your partner’s love language,e it doesn’t mean that they want you to do everything for them.

It means that they feel the most loved when you do something for them out of love, not obligation.

 Turn-Ons:

• When their partner honors their words through actions.
• A partner who takes the lead/ initiative.
• When their partner enjoys doing something helpful/ important to them.
• Being helped without having to ask.
• Acts of kindness.

Turn-Offs:

• Dismissing/Ignoring their request for help.
• Not following through with commitments.
• Overly judging their request for help.
• Laziness.
• Forgetting about promises.

Follow the link below from our sister site to learn about how to use the five love languages with your children!

The Five Love Languages: Filling Their Love Tanks

Using Your Child’s Love Language to Create A Stronger Bond