As a mom who has lost, grief is no stranger to me. And after walking this road for eight years, I know it’s no stranger for you or someone close to you either.
The holiday season usually leaves us with a full schedule and a busy season. So it’s easy to forget that the holidays are usually some of the hardest days for a person grieving the loss of their loved one. An extremely family-oriented season exasperates the reminder that their loved one is gone.
Below are eight tangible ways to help a loved one survive the holiday season while grieving:
1. Put a reminder in your phone to text them.
This may seem or feel disingenuous, but quite the contrary. This is one of the most thoughtful things you can do. Intentionally putting a reminder in your phone for a friend is not only genuine but loving.
2. Text them.
I know I’m 100% guilty of reading a text and mentally replying. The same goes with a read email or even my alarm clock. The act of texting your friend something simple like, “Hi! I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you and your loved one today” will go a long way. The grieving friend most likely won’t text back, but they most definitely read your message.
3. Call them and leave a voicemail.
I know it’s 2021, and no one answers the phone. (I mean, who can blame you with “scam likely” calling you on repeat.) So a text is one way of communication, but hearing the voice of someone you love and care for is even more soothing. Again, they most likely won’t answer, but if you left a voicemail reminding your friend that they are loved and thought of and so is their missing loved one, I guarantee you it will turn their day around.
4. Write them a handwritten note.
This is a lost art. A handwritten note goes above and beyond any of our expectations because it’s not connected to our phone. The fact that you took the time to thoughtfully write out and mail out a heartfelt note is such a gift. Your grieving loved one will most likely keep it for a long time.
5. Send them $5 for coffee.
I know not all of us are in a position to financially give, but who doesn’t love receiving $5 for a treat, no strings attached?
6. Make or purchase them dinner.
After a long day at work, the last thing any of us probably wants to do is cook dinner. Now add on the exhaustion grief adds to it. That’s where a home-cooked meal or even a gift card or a delivery service dropping off dinner comes in. It’ll help more than you know.
7. Buy or make a gift in honor of their loved one.
After our daughter passed away, actually even before she passed away, we had many gifts given to us in honor of her. And I will tell you, I have every single gift ever given to us. It meant so much that people would 1. Think of us. 2. Give us something so meaningful.
Below I’ll leave a couple of links to wonderful shops that make gifts for grieving families in honor of loved ones.
8. Drop off a bag full of their favorite treats.
This one my husband came up with. One day one of his best friends dropped off a bag full of his favorite snack and candies. My husband will never forget this selfless act.
Now I know physical and monetary items don’t replace their loved ones or fix their grief. But it does tangibly remind a grieving person that he or she is seen and loved. And it helps remind your friend that they are not alone.
