Motherhood is a full-time job with guaranteed overtime. Oftentimes, we find ourselves in such a crazy schedule that being a good friend goes to the bottom of our list.
Friendships and motherhood are tricky when they are together. Friendships can easily get lost. A lot of us feel lonely at some point.
It would be great to know, can we have both? Can we have friends and be moms?
When we have friends who don’t have children, they might not be able to understand our schedule or our actions. Not because they don’t care. But simply because the priority list and journey we live are so different.
On the other hand, friends who do have children can also lead to uncomfortable situations when our thinking process isn’t the same. Also, a relationship can be hard when there’s a lack of quality time because between family and life, getting together is just hard.
Friendship Fallout
Recently, I experienced a friendship fallout, and I have to say it’s been extremely painful. A friendship of over 10 years suddenly changed in such a weird way. As I was trying to reach out for that shoulder to rely on, I found myself alone. I am not the type of person who opens up to anyone, so my list of real friends is SMALL. However, when “my person” was not interested in being there at all anymore, it hurt!
It is not the first time I have experienced a friendship fallout, especially as a mom. I’ve lost friends for many reasons. Friendships come and go. But those real friendships, the ones you connect with, and you have a life full of memories with, are painful to lose.
How do we gain new friends?
Social media friendships appear nowadays to be the strongest links around, especially for moms on the go like myself. It’s amazing how friendships built via social media, or in a small period of time, tend to be more supportive and affectionate than others. But is that the case all around? Or just for moms?
Facebook has a lot of mom groups, and some of them even have chats on the side. Also, there are apps such as Peanut which is an app designed to help moms meet others moms for support and friendships. Aside from social media, we have the old ways such as schools or the extracurricular activities we take our children to. I think sources for finding friends are wide, but finding the right ones can get tricky.
The search for a good friendship that can balance your motherhood style can be quite a journey. Let’s see where my journey takes me as I am once again finding some matches for myself. In the meantime, I am one of the many other moms who find themselves lost in the friendship department.
What about you? How do you find friends?
Originally published March 2022.
The opinions expressed in this post are those of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of El Paso Mom, its executive team, other contributors to the site, its sponsors or partners, or any organizations the aforementioned might be affiliated with.
