The pandemic has made it harder to navigate a lot of things, including parenting. My son was born a month before the lockdowns began. Since then he hasn’t gotten the socialization he would’ve normally received.
I started to notice he wasn’t meeting his verbal milestones, I brought it up to my pediatrician and he wasn’t concerned. At his 18 month appointment, I was still concerned and asked for a referral to Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) services.
Here are some tips on navigating a speech and/or developmental delay in your child I learned through my experience.
1. Advocate for Your Child.
My number one piece of advice is to advocate for your child. I’ve heard many women tell me that no matter how many times they bring up concerns to the pediatrician, they are brushed aside and not given the resources they are looking for. I would keep pressing your provider until you are satisfied with their response. The awesome thing about ECI is that anyone can make the referral for an initial assessment. This request can be submitted by phone or online at http://www.elpasoeci.org.
2. Listen to Advice, but Follow Your Gut.
One of the hardest things for me was realizing my son was delayed and having some push back from family members for pursuing an ECI evaluation and eventually starting therapy. I’m not sure if it is a cultural thing, but I heard a lot of things like “everyone’s different. So-and-so started talking when they were 3 years old.” And “boys are slow to speak.” And “don’t put him in therapy. They’re just going to want to diagnose him with something and start him on medication.” I listened to what my loved ones had to say but ultimately decided to follow my gut. My job, as a mom, is to find all the tools available to help my son be the best version of himself.
3. Do the Work at Home.
Once therapy starts, make sure you do the work at home. The therapist(s) see your child for about an hour every 1-2 weeks, so a lot of the work is in your hands. They will provide you with activities, tools, and suggestions. But it is your job to execute and put them into practice daily. I find this to be challenging at times because I can be very overwhelmed with all the information presented during the sessions. Take notes on your phone about the different things you can be doing daily to help your child.
4. Be Gentle with Yourself.
As moms, we have this ability to blame everything on ourselves. Mom guilt, I’ve learned, can be paralyzing. I always tend to place the blame on myself for my son not speaking. All the what-ifs come into play. What if I had read more to him? What if I would have talked more to him? A delay is not anyone’s fault. Every child is different and we must meet them where they are and hold their hands on this journey. Be gentle with yourself, mom!
5. There Will Be Ebbs and Flows.
Like anything else in life, speech therapy is not linear. There will be good and bad days. I’m still in the early stages of this journey, but some days can be very hard. After a hard day in therapy, my thoughts start to spiral. I start wondering if my son will ever talk. How will he be understood? What will his life look like? It makes me really upset. I allow myself to honor those emotions and thoughts. Then I remember that for every bad day there will come good days. And it’s best to take it one day at a time.
I know it’s not an easy journey. But I hope these tips help make it easier for you. Be patient with yourself and with your child.
